You Don’t Have To Keep Doing It the Way You’ve Always Done It
Hello!
Recently I’ve been thinking about this. Maybe it’s because we’re inching towards Thanksgiving. Our family gathers at our mountain house for the holiday and I always do the big, yummy spread. As I was planning Thanksgiving activities, menus, making the lists of things I always do to get ready - I paused to consider – do we do Thanksgiving this way because we've always done it that way? Or because we want to?
Having a full house (6 adults and 2 teenagers), everyone under one roof for 5 days is a lot of work. While my daughters are always there to help and do jump in to assist, I still manage the majority of the week’s efforts.
I think it’s important to consider the question. Do we want to keep things the way they are? The traditions we maintain. The obligations we accept. The routines we've followed for years without ever questioning whether they still make sense.
Some of these things bring us joy. They connect us to the people we love, give our lives structure, and create memories we wouldn't trade for anything.
But others? Well, maybe it's time to take a second look.
Maybe for you, the upcoming holiday has become more work than enjoyment. A commitment you continue to honor even though it no longer feels right. Or a routine that made perfect sense years ago but doesn't quite fit the life you're living today.
And yet, we keep doing these things. Why?
Sometimes it's habit or it's because we don't want to disappoint someone. And sometimes, it is as simple as we haven't stopped long enough to realize that we have a choice.
I think we can become so accustomed to doing what is expected of us that we forget to ask ourselves what we actually want.
And that can be especially true as we get older. Responsibilities change. Priorities change. Our lives change, so we're allowed to change, too.
That certainly doesn't mean we need to throw out our traditions or abandon our responsibilities. But perhaps we need to give ourselves permission to decide what still belongs and what we're ready to do differently.
A little something to think about this week
Consider one thing you do out of habit or obligation.
Ask yourself three questions:
Do I still enjoy this, or am I doing it because it's what I've always done?
If I were making this decision today, would I make the same choice?
Is there a way to approach this differently that would feel better for me?
You don't have to make a big change. Sometimes, just recognizing that you have a choice is enough to get you thinking differently.
And who knows? You might discover that some things are worth keeping exactly as they are. Others might need a little adjusting.
For us, Thanksgiving this year will look very much like it has in years past. And that’s just fine with me. We love our traditions, the noise and chaos of everyone under the same roof. Hot coffee, reading, and yummy pastries for breakfast in our pajamas. Movie night with popcorn and hot chocolate. Sampling new wines for the grown ups. Turkey bingo complete with prizes while the turkey roasts on Thanksgiving Day.
Is it a lot of work? Absolutely. But the joy of having everyone together far outweighs the effort it takes to pull it together.
Could I change things up this year? Of course I could. But I won’t, because these are traditions we love and look forward to. I will hand off a few errands and chores to others, but I’m perfectly happy with the way we spend this time together.
The point isn’t to change things just because we can. It’s to recognize that we have a choice. And this year, I’m choosing to keep the traditions that bring us joy!
Your Monday & Mindful question:
What is one thing in your life you've continued doing simply because you've always done it that way? Is it time to reconsider?
Give yourself permission to think about it. You might be surprised by what you discover.
Until next time,
Mischelle
Monday & Mindful
