When Did Busy Become the Goal?

Have you ever had one of those days when you finally sit down in the evening and realize you've been going since the moment you got up?

You answered the emails, ran the errands, returned the calls, crossed things off the list, and took care of the things that needed your attention. Things that felt very important to attend to…at the time. And, when someone asked you how your day was, you invariably give the canned response, “busy.”

I've been thinking about that word lately.

Somewhere along the way, being busy seems to have become a badge of honor. Almost like it’s a “status symbol.” We talk about how much we have going on, how little time we have, and how we'll catch our breath when things finally slow down. She who has the busiest schedule doesn’t win, she’s just tired.

But what if things don't slow down on their own? What if we have to decide that some things can wait?

There's nothing wrong with being productive. There are responsibilities that matter, people who count on us, and work that requires our attention. But I wonder how often we get so caught up in everything we're doing that we forget to ask ourselves whether we're making time for the things we actually want to be doing.

Why is it that some of the things we want to do for ourselves can feel frivolous, or even a little self-indulgent?

I think this is especially true for those of us in our 50s and 60s. We grew up with the idea that responsibilities come first, that we take care of what needs to be done, and that the things we want for ourselves can wait until everything else is taken care of.

The problem is everything else is rarely finished.

We can become so accustomed to putting our own wants at the bottom of the list that making time for ourselves can feel uncomfortable. However, discomfort is where we grow!

A little something to try this week.

Take a look at your calendar for the next seven days.

Alongside the appointments, errands, and obligations, ask yourself three questions:

What am I looking forward to this week?

What am I doing simply out of habit or because I think I should?

Where could I leave a little space for something I enjoy?

You don't need to rearrange your entire life. I’m not recommending you throw your responsibilities to the wayside. I’m suggesting that find space for you.

Is there a commitment you can reconsider, an afternoon you can leave open, or find room on the calendar for at least one small thing you want to do.

Here’s the thing. Our calendar is not necessarily the problem. How we manage it is the challenge.

It's time to make sure that somewhere in all the doing, handling, and juggling of schedules that there's room for living, too.

Question for You:

If you looked back on this week, what would make you feel that it was well spent not just busy?

I'd love for you to carry that question with you this week.

Until next time…